Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Lee Kuan Yew's Singapore judges suffer from a bad bout of constipation

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Have you ever seen the faces of Singaporean judges, when in a Singapore courtroom. They look so grim and serious, almost angry; it seems to me either they got out the wrong side of the bed that morning, their wives had not cooperated the night before or they are suffering from a serious bout of constipation.

True, it is necessary to put on an aura of authority but is it necessary to go this far? They are so stern and serious, it seems as if they are very angry with you for some reason, as if you are wasting their time for even being there.

Most of the time, have you noticed, they don't even look at you.

I am not sure, but I don't really think such a confrontational hostile stance taken by measly Singapore judges is really necessary for the administration of justice. It seems to me more than likely that these Lee Kuan Yew bootlickers are so insecure that the only way they can assume authority is to behave as if you are just plain dirt, undeserving to be even in his presence.

I used to remember a Judge in Fremont Superior Court, California which is not far from my office along Paseo Padre Parkway. He always started the day with a joke, such as, in Orlando Florida, they had just passed a law prohibiting anyone from staring at anyone else for more that 30 seconds, or something similarly silly. Or that in the city of Milan in Italy, they just made talking loudly illegal.

I have forgotten what were the jokes he said, but it is something along these lines, things really out of this world. And since he was the judge, everyone would temporarily be carried away into thinking it was true, only to realise a while later that it was a joke.

Frankly, instead of anyone disrespecting him for this, in fact everyone there not only respected him, but loved him. He was a good judge who had the courage to treat you, like an equal and when he had to punish he, he always had a long explanation as to why he had to do it. In fact after you were punished by him, you did not dislike him. Quite the contrary, you willingly accepted the punishment.

On the other hand have you noticed how it is in Singapore. The prosecutor reads out the facts of the case, there is a pause after that, after which the judge looks up and says "36 months jail, 5 strokes of the cane". It appears as if he had looked at some table of possible punishments, and said it. No reasons why, no pity, no comment, no observation, no nothing. Just a mechanical "36 months and 5 strokes", and "take him away". I have thought many times, why in Heavens do you need a Singapore human being to do this. Just have a machine there, feed in the necessary facts, and the sentence would be printed out the next minute.

I suppose these silly boot licking Lee Kuan Yew style judges in Singapore would never understand this.

Gopalan Nair
Attorney at Law
39737 Paseo Padre Parkway, Suite A1
Fremont, CA 94538, USA
Tel: 510 657 6107
Fax: 510 657 6914

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Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right here.
Not that you are wrong elsewhere.
But in most jurisdictions judges even thank the witness -whether the accused or otherwise after he had finsihed his testimony. Ever heard a judge in Singapore thanking an accused for giving evidence? Also one of the requirements to be a judge in a Western democracy is the compassion trait in a potential judge. If he has none he would not be made a judge.
But in Singapore most lower court judges are from the AG chambers which is a clear conflict.

VSOP* Minister (*Very Senior O Petty) said...

Dear Mr Nair,

Sometimes I do wonder if it will be easier to put a robot in place of a Singapore judge, at least, it will not put up a grim face. But I am not sure if the robot will malfunction when it is uploaded with Singapore laws, with all the controversial LKY amendments.

The robot will always turn up for work because it does not practice professionalism, either is it conscious of the decisions it makes. It is able to rest well, eat well and be happy as robots do.

But like judges, Singaporeans in general have few words and look grim, even on vacations.

Parshotman Maan said...

Hi Gopalan,

Negative thoughts and energy eventually impacts the body, hence the constipated look on the Judges faces.

Maybe, even the judges don't like what they are doing and hence the look on their face.

Can't hope to see SG judges joke in the courts. No way!. I am assuming the corky Judge will be guilty of contempt and will be made a bankrupt if he or she does attempt to make a funny comment.

Kinda like your idea of having a machine passing judgement, since we are having a shortage of lawyers and might I add, judges dying of colorectal blockage / sensual deprivation.

Anonymous said...

I've been a police Prosecutor for 8 years daily before the judge sitting loftily and mightily . Exactly my sentiments Mr Nair ! Thanks.