Sunday, September 20, 2015

A satire on Singapore's one party nanny state

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Singapore picture's as a nanny state where nannies (Lee Kuan Yew's son and his selected friends known as the PAP) are the rulers and the citizens, 5 year old children who live in a nursery (the island of Singapore).

The nannies have complete control over the children who are not allowed freedom of speech or openly criticize their nannies.  One such child, Roy Ngerng who criticized the chief nanny, Lee Kuan Yew's son, was recently sued and will soon be made a bankrupt. No child in the Chief Nanny's nursery is allowed to openly criticize any nanny.

The children are never allowed to protest publicly, organize speeches or write anything critical in newspapers of general circulation. All newspapers and Media are owned and controlled by the nannies.

In effect the children throughout their lives are totally controlled by their nannies. They have no say in how the nannies run their lives. However the nannies allow the children one privilege. They are allowed once in 5 years to form political parties, provided the nannies give permission and stand for elections against the nannies.

But the children have no chance of ever of beating the nannies as every child lives in apartments owned by the nannies, they work in companies owned by them and if they show any attempt of a challenge, would immediately be arrested and thrown in jail. For fear of losing their jobs and livelihood, the children always vote for the nannies. In any case, since the children have no experience whatsoever in government their entire lives, since the nannies never give them a chance, the children would rather vote for the nannies rather than the inexperienced children.

A week ago, the nannies held their elections where the nannies obtained an overwhelming 70% of the votes. As the children have no means of realistically challenging the nannies under these circumstances it is certain the nannies will always win. What the nannies want is for the children to do their jobs without complaining and allow the nannies to provide for them. The nannies have promised to provide jobs, housing and all necessities of life for the children provided they are obedient and quietly do their jobs and live their lives. The nannies get upset if you complain too much as this, they say, affects their ability to serve the children in the best way possible.

After the latest elections, many children have written their views on why the nannies have got a large percentage. Some children attribute this to the nannies being more attentive to the children needs. Some children have accused the nannies of not taking care of the public transport system due to repeated breakdowns. The nannies have promised that next time they would take better care of the transport. The children have also complained to the nannies that they are allowing too many foreigners into the island and the nannies have promised to take care of that too. In fact the Chief nanny has promised that he will take good care of the children with better housing better jobs and more money and expects even more children to vote for the nannies and whoever the nannies place in positions of authority.

Many children feel their lives have got better because of their nannies. When the Chief nanny's father Lee Kuan Yew died recently, there was outpouring of grief for him being the greatest and kindest nanny of all. How sad they were to have lost a nanny like him.

The children in the nursery are overwhelming happy to live under the compassionate loving care of such nannies. In fact the children voted a whopping 70% for the nannies at the recent elections. They look forward to many years of good life under such kind and loving nannies who will build roads for them, build the schools and provide jobs. There are some children in the nursery who are disobedient and had to punished. One such wayward child was Chee Soon Juan of the Singapore Democratic Party. This child made all sorts of accusations against the nannies and challenged the nannies at the recent elections. The overwhelming majority of  children who are all grateful to the nannies trounced this wayward recalcitrant Chee Soon Juan at the elections by giving him even less than a quarter of the votes. The evidence shows the majority of the children detest this child Chee Soon Juan and would hope he would go away.

Since the elections, as always, things are going on as normal. The children have since stopped talking about the recent elections anymore and have gotten down to life as usual in the nursery. The trains are running, the buses are running, the people are working, the clocks are ticking and the children in the nursery have gone back to their daily lives under the kind and loving care of their nannies.

In five years time, in 2020, the children will be given another chance at the elections. In the meantime, they should not complain, openly criticize their nannies, form peaceful protests and not ask embarrassing questions and generally be quiet  and obedient. The nannies will feed house clothe and take care of them as they have always done. The nannies have promised that the lives of the children will be even better than it ever was. As for the children, they are so happy to have such kind caring and loving nannies.

Gopalan Nair
Attorney at Law
A Singaporean by birth
Now American citizen
Tel: 510 491 8525
Email :

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