Ladies and Gentlemen,
Singaporeans have for the past whole week and by the way it is going, perhaps for many weeks more, mourn the loss of Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of Singapore.
Some have scoffed at calling Lee Kuan Yew the founding father of the island, since the island was never lost for him to have found it. Some have even had the temerity to suggest that that it was not him but the Englishman Stamford Raffles who established the port city. How very wrong of them. How cruel can anyone be to deny the credit to Lee Kuan Yew when it was he alone who found it all by himself. In fact, for a time it became lost, when our beloved Lee Kuan Yew with superhuman prowess, looked for it and eventually found it. Those who have questioned this fact are all liars and history has undeniably established Lee Kuan Yew alone, our Great Kind Big Brother found Singapore island.
Look at how nice he has made Singapore. He has singlehandedly built all these glass skyscrapers and beautiful buildings, beautiful tree lined roads and comfortable air conditioned buildings. Many have said that sometimes, he himself had rolled up his sleeves and carried the bricks and mortar on his back to construct the buildings. There were times when passerby have seen him do this and despite the pleas of his grateful citizens not to, he insisted on doing it; that is how much our dear beloved Big Bother Lee Kuan Yew loved us.
Some have so cruelly claimed that he is a corrupt leader and pays himself millions. This is totally untrue as you will know. Our Big Bother Lee Kuan Yew never took more than $100.00 in salary each month. In fact he even refused to accept even that many times. On many occasions, we have seen him walking during the dead of night along Singapore Chinatown asking about the needy and distributing chicken rice and cha kway teow, a Chinese noodle dish, which he used to make himself to take to the poor.
Many have said that Big Brother Lee Kuan Yew has cried uncontrollably when told that some people are poor when he even volunteered to hand even his last $100.00 and go hungry rather than have his people go hungry. In fact on one occasion he could not stop weeping for an entire week when told that the Abdul Kader family in their one room flat in Toa Payoh had ran out of rice and could not afford more. This is how much our Dear Big Bother Lee Kuan Yew loved his people.
People have falsely claimed that it was the Wright brothers in 1903 who invented the aeroplane. This is completely untrue. This is a lie put out by Western imperialists who hate Asians. In fact it was Lee Kuan Yew who invented the aeroplane in 1945 in Oxley Road Singapore, where the great man lived.
In fact the aeroplane our great leader invented made its first flight from his house to the grass patch in Serangoon Road Little India precisely at 1 pm on June 1st 1945, a distance of precisely 2.5 nautical miles, which startled many Indians who were drinking beer, as expected, and had never seen a flying machine before.
One day Lee Kuan Yew decided that we should fly and in his great wisdom sat down and drew the plans for a flying machine. Boeing and McDonald Douglas of United States stole the idea from Lee Kuan Yew and started building them. Without Lee Kuan Yew, we would be still be travelling in bullock carts.
It is falsely claimed by many that Lee Kuan Yew was a dictator. This is completely untrue and may those say this should go blind deaf and incompetent. May they be cursed. Lee Kuan Yew was the kindest man this planet has ever known. He was even kinder than Jesus Christ, Mahatma and everyone else put together. How can a man who was willing to give his last $100 dollars to the poor and someone who would roll his sleeves and carry brick and mortar to build the skyscrapers that you enjoy today be a dictator?
People have said that Lee Kuan Yew has died. This is not true at all. He is not dead in the real sense. God will not let a man such as this, really die. He is in fact hovering over us and making sure that everyone of us is safe, has food to eat and is happy. If not he would come down himself and help if necessary.
Since last week, many have said they have seen him fly. God has given such a good man the ability to fly and look over us and care for us. Twice last week, Tan Bong Hong, a Chinese taxi driver in Jurong in north west of the island, had seen Lee Kuan Yew fly through the air. In fact Tan is entirely certain that Lee Kuan Yew spoke to him and asked him how he was.
Imagine what great loss it is to Singapore to lose such a great man. Never mind Singapore, can you imagine what great loss it is to the world? What will Obama do without his brilliant advice? What will David Cameron or Hollande do without the presence of such a great man.
You know for 30 years I have deluded myself. I have made the terrible mistake of criticizing such a great man. If only I knew his greatness earlier. Oh, all those wasted years. I love you my Big Brother Lee Kuan Yew. Now I only wish I could die. What life is there for me without our kind generous and wise Big Bother Lee Kuan Yew.