Ladies and Gentlemen,
This is the latest. Lee Kuan Yew, the Singapore strongman, Singapore's version of dear Fidel or our Dear Leader Kim Jung Il, who is presently in London, the UK capital, slipped on ice while walking along Fleet Street at the Chancery Lane junction.
The jolt it appears, resulted in the unexpected consequence of his losing his false teeth, of which reports reveal that he had complete sets of upper and lower jaws.
It is uncertain how the teeth became dislodged from his mouth!
His teeth it seems flung out of his mouth in the jolt, falling on ice, and his bodyguards, all 10 of them flown from Singapore to make sure no one shoots him while there, scrambled to search for them (the teeth) but in vain.
As Fleet Street, runs beside the Thames; unfortunately the teeth, both sets of them, fell into the river, and for the rest of the day, the poor dictator was at pains to speak because without teeth, surely one has to sound somewhat garbled.
As a result it appears that his speeches to the London luminaries went down rather badly which bad situation was compounded by the fact that the bad news about him was known by Londoners, that is he is Kim Jung Il's clone. You understand what I mean.
The British being a freedom loving people do not look kindly at dictators.
It seems instead of being welcomed, the same Londoners began chanting slogans, and after a while began chanting "down with the dictator", very bad for his reputation.
As if this was not enough, in the meantime, news had spread to him that Gopalan Nair, who reportedly does not like him very much, sitting in Fremont California had the temerity to falsely claim that he had a heart attack, resulting in everyone in the island city state scrambling to keep their bank accounts safe and many more wondering whether to leave the island permanently or to stay.
He has also been told that the Singapore Secret Service, in conjunction with his Fifth Column has been working double time to label Gopalan Nair as a complete monster, who has out to wreck havoc in his island city state, but unfortunately for him, Singaporeans have better sense than that and realize that Nair's action was long overdue to expose the dangers of dictatorships.
In fact the dictator it is told was boiling with rage when the truth was told, that is, the vast majority of Singaporeans appreciated Nair for writing the truth about Singapore, as evidenced by the congratulations and accolades he received which outnumbered the dissenting voices 2 to 1.
In fact the numerous Singaporeans were pleading that Gopalan Nair please return to Singapore as his writings brings a breath of fresh air and spontaneity to the stifling political atmosphere in the island.
In fact many Singaporeans volunteered to provide Nair with a ready supply of Chivas Regal, the Scotch that he prefers, straight with a bit of water, at 98% Fahrenheit.
It seems Lee got even more upset and was boiling when told that Gopalan Nair was enjoying every minute of his sudden popularity, and is unable to hold back his hilarity to see so many Singaporeans or rather his agents up in arms against him.
But the good news is, all the fuss has once again propelled Gopalan Nair into the limelight and made him so very popular in that island state even though Gopalan Nair has left that island a long time ago, and what is more, he is an American Citizen; an achievement indeed.
It has been rumoured Gopalan Nair enjoys publicity and this overwhelming coverage of him and his reputation has really made his day. And with this blog post, Gopalan Nair is looking forward to even more of it. In the meantime, he has poured himself a tot of Scotch.
Gopalan Nair wants to thank the Singapore state controlled Media for putting up his picture once again in the paper, although a better picture could have been selected than that, and making him all the more important in that island state.
It appears from reliable sources that every single human being today in that island has heard of Gopalan Nair and has an opinion about him one way or the other, it does not matter which way.
Thank you very much.
As for good old Lee Kuan Yew's teeth, they are unfortunately gone and unless you engage Royal Navy divers to look for them under the Thames, they are lost forever.
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